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Paul 'Alreet pet' Lovell hit the front page of the Shields Gazette in 2001, getting to the final and then winning the regional under fourteens wrestling tournament. The kudos was short lived however, and he was subsequently stripped of his place in the nationals when it was revealed he was in fact, 26. He's from Jarrow. Yes Jarrow. The irony being he doesn't even like walking to the paper shop. Having supported the team all of his life, he finally made the move to Camden early in 2007. He can be found in the Upper Loft on match days (and some Thursday lunch times) considering the amount of free radicals Gary Micklewhite's smile reflected back into space, saving the planet several times over.

Clive 'Captain Shandy' Gifford once had his knee felt by his classmate Jeanette Halliday, the 15 year old daughter of a Loftus Road groundsman. He also got nutmegged by Ian Gillard in a five-a-side kickaround (oh yes, he’s that old) and has been known to sit in the Ellerslie, Loft or at various away grounds rocking back and forth mumbling, “wish Parkes, even Hucker was in goal”. He now lives in the “Norf” where he tends his small artichoke patch, takes his twin whippets, Allen and Goddard, for a walk round the Rachid Harkouk boating lake in Crumpsall and ponders the big questions including, “Gus Caesar…Why?

Dave 'The voice' Sapphire graduated from the Royal College of Music, Bedlington in 1986. Wasting no time, he formed ‘The Council Gritters’ with Trevor Dixon from the local chippy. Moderate success followed and their 1987 ‘Are you affiliated’ tour of CIU clubs around the North east sold out within months of going on sale. The tour took it’s toll though and cracks started to appear. By 1988 the two were constantly at each others’ throats. Dave had become increasingly influenced by the Maharishi. And Trevor by Newcastle Brown Ale. It was at a gig at the Neon social club in Jarrow in the Autumn of 88 when the ‘Council Gritters’ finally came to blows. Playing one of his meandering Sitar solos during ‘Jal Frazee Crazee’, Dave looked up just in time to catch Trevor’s half full Brown Ale bottle square in the face. The 'Council Gritters' were no more. After living as a recluse for five years in Ashington, Dave was persuaded to tour solo in 1993. Since then he has toured constantly never looking back. Ironically Trevor Dixon works for the Momotaj Indian takeaway in South Shields as a delivery driver. Rumours of a reunion were slapped down recently when Trevor told a local paper that he’d rather have a melon inserted up his council gritter than ever work with that sitar shagging two bob c**t again.

Simon ‘Mod Ranger’ Ashby. In a strange ‘Life On Mars’ twist, Mod Ranger was hit by a flying pie crust, thrown by a disgruntled Rs fan after yet another first round cup exit. Is he mad, in a coma or simply living in the past? All he knows is that he woke up 1963. Alec Stock is in charge of the Rs, the flamingo and Scene clubs are buzzing in the Bush, a Vespa GS or Lambretta TV is the choice of transport, French Blues the choice of drug, R&B, soul and Blue Beat the choice of music, and a razor sharp suit essential. Family and friends from his future life contact him through his Bush TR transistor radio, with stories of the Rs being a wash with cash, Italian owners and players and season ticket prices the equivalent of his yearly wage. All he knows, is if can find out why he’s there, maybe he can find his way home.

Brendan ‘Whispering Quiz master’ Walsh (Profile to appear shortly)

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